stand in the mirror::you look the s a m e

[JOSHUA BENJIE TRAIN]

Today started far too early. Josh found himself crawling out of bed a few hours before sunrise and just idly busying himself until he was forced to leave the quiet comforts of his home to go to work. Life sucked like that, having to work in order to make a life for yourself. But alas. There wasn't a thing he could do about it but grit his teeth and bear it, just like everyone else in the world.

After four cups of coffee he was ready to take the day head on(not that he wanted to) and after a quick shower and putting on his uniform, he was out the door and in his car on his way to work. If he was a pleasant guy perhaps he'd enjoy working at a place like the Academy, but then again... if he was a pleasant guy he wouldn't be the head guard that all the kids were afraid to bother. He'd probably be working at a flower shop brightening peoples days with pretty flowers.

What a joke.

He did what he normally did; after finishing his first set of rounds he was on break and headed toward the pathetic faculty room. How come those damn little bratty girls got such a nice room and the, you know, important people got a shabby little room like this? He shook his head as he sat at the little table, feet up on the top of it and propped back on the back legs of the chair. What a glorious way to re-energize oneself. Sitting in an ugly room sipping on really shitty coffee. What a life.

He knew the first thing he was going to do when he got off. Bitch at Oisin for having such shitty coffee here and expecting it to work for him. Then he'd quickly flee the scene before he got bothered by the man. But knowing his luck he wouldn't be able to escape for hours and hours. Then he'd have to go home and bang his head on the wall till he passed out.

It was a good thing he was mostly a secretive guy and that people couldn't read his mind. They'd think he was a huge ass freak. Joshua grumbled under his breath about the bad coffee as he took another drink out of the mug and leaned forward to place it by his leg on the table. Then leaned back in the chair.

If someone passed by they would begin to wonder why he was head guard, looking the way he did. Like a juvenile delinquent bullshitting his way through detention.

[DONOVAN OISIN O'CALLAGHAN]

Taking in a deep breath, he leaned back slightly in his chair. Of course, there was a huge pile of paper on his desk of new applications and requests… and more work nonsense, but Oisin just wasn’t in the mood. A sigh escaped his lips following by a long yawn. The old man really was just wasting away his day doing nothing but smoking a pack of cigarettes… which truly, he knew he shouldn’t have. He was sure his lovely, beloved daughter of his actually hated this nasty habit. Oh now crude Papa was for smoking! Really, it was all in his dreams… he missed being a close nit family now that he sudden had a high position as the Headmaster. He had the looks, the car… the lighter and all that fine and fancy stuff, but he really didn’t feel at home. Another sigh escaped his lips and he stared at the almost full ash tray on his desk before rubbing his current one into the mess.

Stretching, he stood up with a crack of his joints… only to give a look of disappoint. Really… He just stood there for a few moments before strolling closer towards the door. Luckily, his lovely advisor wasn’t around at the moment. He quietly snuck through the door only to glance side by side in case anyone saw him. Really, he didn’t know what the hell he was even doing, but he wanted to get out of the hellhole he just left behind. His brow rose as a guard walked passed him, but really didn’t even seem to notice him. Either way, Josh was on his side… right? Oisin gave a small wave as the guard finally turned to look at him before slipping off in the other direction. He’s been here since before the sun even rose and really… it was still early in the morning and as always he was over exaggerating. The students weren’t even here yet.

Sneaking along, he moved closer and closer towards the Faculty Room… there was coffee there, but there could also be some company as well. And with his luck, hopefully his advisor wouldn’t be. He held his breath as he opened the door. Narrowing his honey brown eyes, he glanced around the place only to see his beloved nephew. An excited smile captured his lips… and he pretty much felt like a hyped up dog wagging his tail. “Good Morninggg, Joshhhh~!”

[JOSHUA BENJIE TRAIN]

All was quiet, no sounds came from the hallway and the only thing he could hear was the constant ticking of the clock in the room. Which, after a while, became very annoying. But it was much better than hearing that annoying, thickly accented voice of-- his thoughts were interrupted suddenly by the very voice he had been elated not to hear just seconds ago. He was startled and jumped, and since he had been leaning on only the back legs of his chair he began falling backward but manged to fall out of the chair sideways and catch himself awkwardly before hitting the ground. The chair made a loud clack sound as he hit the floor and Josh jumped again hearing that before he quickly stood up trying to act casual about what just happened.

He ran a hand through his hair, glancing casually to the side before looking at Oisin with a very agitated glare on him face. "Jesus Christ, Oisin, don't you know better than that?" he half snarled, obviously still a little pissed that he'd been startled and made a fool of at the same time. He'd made it clear, many times, that he didn't want to be pestered by the man. His arm dropped to his side as he stared at the elder man with an expectant look like he was waiting for a huge apology.

Josh sometimes wondered why he even came here and accepted this damn job. The only person that bothered him was the one person he hated the most. He had no friends, just people who insisted on bugging him. And by people, that meant just Oisin. He growled quietly to himself, bending down to pick up the chair and set it back up before sitting back down.

[DONOVAN OISIN O'CALLAGHAN]

His brow rose as soon as he saw the startled reaction from his nephew. Really, he didn’t think he had a scary face, but it seemed that his face was really a hellish nightmare to the poor guy. Though, that wouldn’t make him stop coming to spread the love nonetheless. He blinked at all the sudden movements that happened and pretty much slid completely in and closed the door. Josh was suddenly falling backwards and then forwards… and finally to the side where he fell down. Oisin pretty much had his mouth opened with a dumbfounded look on his face before the guy finally said something… and not in a pleased voice one might add. He glanced to one side… slightly confused on what he possibly could even say.

“Am I really that scary, Joshie-poo~?” he blurted out with a slightly pleased look on his face as if he was truly meaning to scare the living daylights out of him. His hand ran over his rustic golden key that hung around his neck before he glanced over towards Josh. Oisin simply watched as Josh set up the fallen chair and gave a smile. It was only after than that he gave him a false guilty look… and even puckered his lips like any good lady should. “You shouldn’t be so mad~! You darling uncle just wanted to see his beloved little nephew’s face~!” Of course, there was no way he’d get an actual ‘sorry’ from Oisin. It would ruin all the lovely fun!

“But really, what were you dreaming about? Maybe… a sexy lady? Or even me~?”

[JOSHUA BENJIE TRAIN]

As he sat there he grabbed his coffee mug so he could focus on that and not on Oisin, pretending to totally ignore him but waiting tensely for him to speak and say something stupid and annoying. But then again every time he opened his mouth something annoying came out and made him angry. The man couldn't help but wince and twitch a bit at his nickname, glaring at his uncle out of the corner of his eye but not saying anything quite yet. Instead he just took a sip of his steaming coffee, half-tempted to take a big gulp so he could burn his mouth and get out of this horrible, horrible meeting with Oisin.

He shifted more in his chair as the man spoke. He was obviously uncomfortable and it was as if every word he said was like nails on a chalkboard and was excruciatingly painful. He knew if this meeting lasted more than seven minutes he'd have a headache to deal with for the rest of the day. He said nothing to his stupidity, keeping his attention on the hot mug in his hand and trying his best to just ignore the man. But every time he spoke he couldn't help but listen just in case he said something important.

Finally, Josh turned to look at him, glare totally obvious and his discomfort and unhappiness apparent. He listened to his curiously stupid question before looking away, taking a silent moment to think over his witty retort. "Your ex-wife," he said simply. His tone wasn't as angry as before and he again peered over without looking at the Irishman directly. He knew that would push some buttons. And what a joy that'd be.

But he knew, with his luck, he wouldn't get the reaction he hoped for and craved. Which was a shame. It wasn't much to ask to get under Oisin's skin for once.

[DONOVAN OISIN O'CALLAGHAN]

His eyes searched Josh for any kind of reaction… and of course he got a reaction. It wasn’t anything said, but he noticed ever movement he made. He narrowed his eyes as his nephew shifted in his seat… for once, he was actually thinking that it might not have been a good idea at to come over and annoy him. Oisin truly felt hated by him… and really, didn’t know how to react to that hatred. He wanted to be on the good-side of Josh, but it was so far from his grasp. It was like every time he took a few steps forward… another ten were taken back. He even wondered if he should just turn around and leave. Oisin could stop bugging him and totally move onto someone else to tease. He, however, didn’t want to turn away from Josh.

He just stood there for a few moments before moving over and taking a seat across from his nephew. A front pulled on his lips for the slightest moment before he just replaced it with a slightly false smile. There were so many things he could do differently… like changing around his twisted way of showing how much he cared. Josh was… after all, his sister’s son. He cared for Josh like his own son… equal to Fitzroy and even Jin. Even after all he had said… there was a thick and awkward silence between the two. His honey brown eyes started down at his hands for a moment before looking over at Josh’s coffee mug and then finally back to his nephew.

He perked up slightly as Josh began to speak… but it wasn’t something that Oisin even wanted to hear. … Why? My ex-wife…? Why her? He stared at Josh for a moment… a frown pulling at his lips before a sigh escaped them. “Oh really?” he merely said with a false smile replacing his true expression. The thought that his ex-wife was once again gaining everyone’s attention left him feeling slightly sick to the stomach. She left him… she left them. What for? Another man. If he hadn’t snapped at her… if he hadn’t known… then it would have been all perfect, right? He would be living with the family in Ireland as always instead of being forced here. Really, it was all her fault that he was pushed into this and even scared. Yet… he couldn’t blame her for his own foolishness.

[JOSHUA BENJIE TRAIN]

Silence ensued. The only real hint that Oisin was, indeed, bothered by his comeback, but he hid it well under a smile. Who knows, maybe he was always smiling without meaning it. Josh looked at him as he sat across the table from him, staring at him, observing him for a moment or two before speaking. "No." God no. It's not that he wanted to relieve any stress the man was feeling over the comment, but he didn't want to go say more things. He was tired. He didn't want to deal with this.

And so he sipped his coffee again, calming down the more he sat there and the less his uncle spoke to him. "Don't you like... have other things to do?" he asked in a monotone voice, turning violet eyes up to the brown-haired Irishman. Obviously he was still trying to rid himself of his company but not in the harsh way he wanted do. As much as Oisin really annoyed the fuck out of him, he was really the only person who bothered to speak to him(although in an annoying way). He figured this pestering gesture was his way of showing he cared... or some shit. Common sense said so.

But god, why? Why couldn't he be a normal guy? Like everyone else. Oisin just so happened to be one of the people he couldn't stand. The kind that had a lot of money and always got what they wanted. He could be worse, but Josh couldn't stand his stupid fancy car and his fancy necklaces and rings and watches. He was privileged. And Josh was jealous of that. Oisin could be happy, Josh was stuck in the doldrums and couldn't claw his way out. Thanks, dad.

[DONOVAN OISIN O'CALLAGHAN]

There wasn’t much he could do… or say at this moment. He was stuck when it came to saying anything that involved his ex-wife. It was as if he was stripped of his very clothes and could only bare his actual self. He had nowhere to hide… and he was at the mercy of the one in front of him. Every muscle in his body tensed up and every movement he made… he only grew even more uncomfortable. His lip twitched as he finally heard his nephew’s voice again. Really, he didn’t want to hear the answer. Either way it would hurt him all the same… and this time it was a ‘no’. There was nothing more to say on the subject and he wasn’t going to push it. Sure, he wondered why he had lied, but didn’t want to pull the strings of his ex-wife out any more.

He didn’t say a word, but his brow rose as soon as Josh spoke again. Oisin knew all too well that he was trying to get rid of him. What else could those words mean? He moved up his hand only to stratch the side of his eyebrow before letting out a sigh. The guy even dropped the fake smiling act and stared at his nephew hold heartily. His eyes narrowed and the slight old age wrinkles under his eyes became even more visible. He didn’t need to be reminded of his ever so counting age though. Really, he wanted to know why Josh hated him so much. But, the tension felt as if the roof would just fall straight on top of him. Oisin really wasn’t expecting much… just the truth.

“Why do you…?” he couldn’t finish the sentence and just let it fade out like that. The old man couldn’t say the word he wanted and even if he managed to… it would hurt him even more. Josh could just right out tell him why he had a problem with Oisin or why he always wanted to get rid of him, but he never did. And Oisin appreciated the fact that he didn’t just tell him to ‘shut up and get out’ in blessed words. “Nah… nevermind. Anyway… you okay?” A stupid question that really didn’t need to be asked, but he needed something to continue on the conversation. Otherwise… he’d just have to up and leave and he really didn’t want to.

[JOSHUA BENJIE TRAIN]

Josh knew for sure he had made things terribly awkward for Oisin. Which was cool because he usually never had the chance. For once the shoe was on the other foot... but it didn't feel quite as righteous as Josh thought it should. Which made him angry that, when he finally got the chance to say something to bother Oisin, he felt bad about it. What the hell was this? After a few more moments his uncle just dropped the act all together and it caused the younger man to shift uncomfortably in his chair as he had earlier. Damn. This sucked.

For a moment he gave his full attention to Oisin as he began to ask a question but cut himself off. Joshua merely tilted a brow at him. He hadn't a clue what he was going to ask. He was curious about it but he wasn't going to tell him to go on ahead and finish the question. Which might be a good thing. If he had went ahead and asked he probably would've been met with a terribly obvious awkward silence. As bold as the blonde-headed man was, that's one question he probably wouldn't be able to answer or would even want to answer if given the chance.

So when Oisin continued with another question, Josh shrugged lightly. The man obviously didn't want to get up and leave. He didn't know why he'd rather sit here and talk to someone who hated him. "'M fine," he replied with a casual shrug. He could still feel the utterly stale feeling that had taken over the quiet room. He didn't really want to move now because if he did it'd sound really loud. But instead of dragging it out, he stood up, somewhat abruptly and set the coffee mug on the table before glancing at Oisin. "C'mon," he said with one nod toward the door before heading toward it himself, "S'boring in here."

[DONOVAN OISIN O'CALLAGHAN]

The awkward silence just continued on as if it really was some kind of curse. Maybe it was a secret curse that he held. Well, not really ‘cause it wouldn’t work with all the other family members he had. He got along just fine with everyone in his family other that his ex-wife’s new add on family… and well… Josh. Not only did he feel nervous… he felt right out frightened. If he made the wrong move or said the wrong thing, it could easily upset his nephew even more. Yet, if he said the right thing it could just hurt himself. There were so many complex challenges he seemingly had in just this meeting. The worry that smacked him in the face the most was the fact that these awkward moments would pop up more and more with Josh. And really, he didn’t want that and it didn’t seem like Josh was enjoying it much either.

He held his breath as he listened to his nephew who answered his finished question like it was nothing. Of course he would have… Oisin said one of the easiest questions of all. At least, he was slightly relieved that Josh hadn’t even said anything about the other question. Maybe he just got off that it really wasn’t something that needed to be discussed… one way or the other, he felt bit better. Though, right when Josh stood up… not only did it scare the shit out of him, he was actually surprised even more by his next words. He couldn’t believe it at all. Was it really just a spurt of the moment thing or did Josh really want to go somewhere… with him? Or perhaps he was just over thinking it and Josh was simply trying to escape. Oh well…

“Reallyyy~?!” oh shit… his tail is wagging again.