``its not [you], its me ;; alexei

[RENARD ARISTIDE CHEVALIER]

Renard felt the other's hand against his arms, and his eyes instinctively dropped to watch them - pale fingers with slim, finely manicured nails, though they looked like they pleaded for light - as they stroked the material of his shirt. A small smile played on his lips at the childlike nature of it, as if unused to touching other people. Exploring, up his back and into his hair - reminding him a little of a spider he'd once encountered at a rare species show, the creature had crawled in a curious fashion across his hands and up his arms, and he'd stood perfectly still. His parents hadn't been too impressed when, as its hairy legs clambered up onto his head via his cheek, the man leading the show had informed the audience the spider was poisonous, its toxins able to kill a man in just a single bite. He hadn't minded - neither did he particularly mind this, surprising himself somewhat.

"That's something to know," Renee breathed softly, nodding gratitude to the other. It made him blush a little more - to know he meant something to someone. He noted the genuine tone to the other's voice, Alexei really meant it, and for once Renard ignored any connotations that could have for their relationship. Alexei's face coloured too as he mentioned his bounciness. It was true - the man simply reeked of energy and happiness, and it was something he had noted rubbing off on others. Alexei just seemed to light up the day sometimes. Renard felt his lips perk up again at the redhead's face, not the same colour as his hair but slightly lighter - it was, much as he would have turned a similar colour admitting it, even to the other butler - he would understand it better than others, but still. "Nice to know someone cares - you're not exactly ordinary yourself." He didn't mean that in a mean way - Alexei was unique.

"I'm surprised - I would have thought you'd almost have had people flocking around you," Renard teased lightly, hoping he'd take it with a pinch of salt. He had the impression the other was a little sensitive on the subject of relationships in general - not just simple friendships. From his own experience, he knew that they could be both terribly catastrophic and wonderfully exhilirating experiences, depending on how it worked out. He chucle, adding just to be sure, "don't take that seriously though - I don't mean anything by it," his voice changed, becoming almost concerned, comforting, "I suppose even you, as bubblier a person as I've met, can have your off moments. Or a lot of them, it seems." He noticed Alexei's hands drop down into the gap between them, fiddling - nothing better to do. Yet.

"Much better," one hand extended up to push Alexei's glasses up his nose a little - they were still sort of balancing near the front - and to brush a couple of strands of brilliant red hair, albeit a tad damp, out of the other's brilliant green eyes. "Happy, now? How could I not be?," he smiled, "I just needed to know you were on the road to recovery - I hate seeing others suffering, particularly if its emotional, rather than physical, pain. Invisible pain," he shrugged a little. Not something he had truly suffered yet. "People find it hardest to hide their emotions in their eyes," he added softly, staring deep into the other butler's pair, framed by the pretty little rouge frames. Gateways to the soul? Now where did I hear that again?, he mused silently, the butterflies dancing in his stomache of the thought of what possible idiocy he could achieve next.

"Yes, much more of an important - your eyes are becoming less, well, red now," Renard grinned, teeth exposed and all, and leaned forward a little, "you're starting to look presentable again." Take a chance, someone had once said to him. Take a chance and don't miss the opportunity. And took a chance and opportunity he did - Renard brought both hands round to either side of Alexei's face, pulled him down gently and stood up straighter to meet the other's lips. A little unexpected, no? Maybe Alexei would like that sort of thing - hopefully indeed.

template: by me!
lyrics: one republic
muse: my lullaby - lion king 2
notes: i've just noticed how totally bigass all our posts have got xD

[ALEXEI FERNAND ADRIANO]

I W A N T YOUR LOVE, I DON'T WANNA BE F R I E N D S.
caught in a B A D R O M A N C E !!

Alexei hadn't felt such profound intimacy with another in such a long time. He didn't even have to be touching Renard to feel it. There was a familiar feeling that overcame his senses every time the younger man came near. It was similar to the feelings Alejandro gave him, yet so very much different. They were new- inspiring yet dangerous. He liked the feeling, as new as it was. He was afraid of it, but the butler craved it more than anything right then. The fear was born from what had happened the first time they kissed, and also what had just happened at the lake. Of course he forgave Renee, but still it was hard, especially since he didn't want to have his entire world come crashing down on him as it had before.

"Of course I care..." The color did not fade from the older man's face, after all he was speaking very fondly of Renard, and directly to him at that. And this man's smile, a mere uprising of his lips, made Alexei's eyes light up like fireworks. He kind of felt childish and stupid, wanting someone who was so unattainable so recently. Alexei wasn't even sure that Renee was into him, or even men in general. When the younger man told him that he 'wasn't exactly ordinary', he took it as more of a compliment, letting a small smile escape him. "Well thank you, Renee. I think I'd be quite boring if I was." Alexei chuckled a little, finally feeling less shaken and more comfortable.

The elder huffed a little, grinning. "I think I may scare people off sometimes, either by being too devious or too much of a spaz. Either way, I do hope I make more friends. It's just still new to me, the academy." Alexei knew he'd make friends soon, it wasn't hard for him. His attitude was somewhat infectious; always laughing and rambling on, it was hard to not like this butler. He wasn't exactly the nicest person, as he'd just displayed to Renard earlier, but if respected and treated well, Alexei could be just about anyone's friend. It was true what the latter said, he did have quite a bit of off days. Especially when left alone. He could easily be in good spirits- or at least fake them- in the company of his Lady or other people, but the thought of being alone until he withered away was terrifying. Lex had thought for sure it would be as such after Alejandro had died. So much so that he'd almost killed himself of a broken heart; however, that had landed him in the finest mental institution Italy had to offer. Then he came here- the beautiful Stella Fiore Academy. And here he'd met one of the most remarkable people, the man standing before him now.

Renee pushed his glasses up his nose further, and now the brilliant green of the grass and blue of the lake were seen so clearly as well. It felt like he could really see for the first time. As the other man's fingers brushed his hair away, he shivered slightly. Why did he have such a strong reaction to that? Part of him wished he didn't feel weak whenever he saw this boy, and part of him craved it. Alexei didn't want to give anyone, man or woman, the chance to hurt him again in any way. But did that mean he wasn't allowed to fall for someone? That he wasn't allowed to have any friends? "Uhm, yes, I think I'll be okay now. I hope." He smirked, staring into Renee's eyes, his own shining in delight. It drove him mad, this butler. He was so...adorable. He was everything Alexei strived to be- ironic in the fact that he outranked Renard as a butler. He was charming, respectful, and spoke his mind. Not to mention he had killer skill with horses. You look good enough to eat.

"Well I do like to be...present....able..." Renard was leaning closer. What was he...? As his lips came in contact with Alexei's, it surprised and excited him. His eyes closed instinctively, the only indication to his surprise were his eyebrows which were lifted slightly. His hands took the other by his hips, fingers entangled into the fabric of his shirt, soft as it was. After a short while, he pulled back, looking down at Renard. He swallowed, eyes unsure. "Are you sure about this? You're...are you going to run away again?" He kept his voice down, even though they were the only two people in sight. He just needed to be sure. He ate my heart.

[RENARD ARISTIDE CHEVALIER]

He could almost taste Alexei's subtle enjoyment. However much the latter could deny it later, Renard knew both were enjoying it more than they should have been. Not that that was an overly bad thing - in fact, it was a positive reaction to his somewhat precarious decision in the first place. Renard knew he wouldn't be denying it - he couldn't help a small slip of smile as his eyes fluttered closed, leaning up a little. Dearest Alexei, so fragile like glass, yet so real, so solid and warm in front of him. His hands slipped down, past the redhead's slim arms and thin body, down and around his waist again, gentle handling teasing playfully the back of the other's shirt - Alexei's own were entangled in the gap between them, tugging at his own shirt - he smirked inside at the thought and granted himself a glance down for a fleeting second, savouring the image before closing his eyes again.

Renard didn't restrain the other butler as he moved back, but noted the insecurity in his eyes, the note of unsureness in his voice. He just wanted to pull him close, tell him everything was okay, even if it wasn't. His affection for the older man was growing bit by bit, and whilst he wasn't sure where he would place it exactly, a fair bet was where he had put it a second ago - something, a little more intimate, something more sealed with a kiss. Quit with theatrical statements, Renard, he mock-chided himself silently, one day you'll say all this crap inside your head out loud and it will be to the wrong person, then where will you be? He dared not to answer that question - knowing his luck, it wouldn't be someone understanding like Alexei. And now, in turn, Renard would have to address Alexei's queerer questions - and statements.

"I would never dare describe you as boring," he chuckled lightly in reminiscence of all the boring people he had met - and the interesting ones, few of whom had lived up to Alexei. "Never at all. Indeed, quite the opposite." Another curl of hair had landed in Alexei's face and, as opposed to attending to the tangled, streaked blonde mess that had once been his hair, his hand extended up again to flick that piece back, balanced precariously as it was over the latter's small nose. The glasses were still balanced - Renard had no idea how he got them to stay put all the time - albeit still a little crooked. Renard didn't move them. Instead he looked up at the other, mock scolding, "so much for presentable when your hair is falling in your face all the time. How are you going to impress Claudia like that?"

In fact, even at the mention of her name, he was repressing a brief shudder. She still... somehow still lit a flame of fear in him, that oh-so carniverous grimace she wore like a mask, as if she was attending a masquerade on Halloween. Claudia creeped him out - she just got to him somehow. 'I'm going to have some damn fun with you'. That line was stuck forever in his mind. He was not likely to forget it, or her face, in a hurry. Alexei was the only distraction from her - he couldn't escape her in the academy, and the redhead, aside from being her butler - a misfortune for both of them, it seemed - was a way out. Not that, lord forbid, that was the only reason he had let himself come this far. No way. He had, well, feelings for this man already; unexplainable ones - for now, anyway.

"This time, this time," Renard made sure he was looking deep into Alexei's sparkling eyes, a silent attempt to convey the sincerity of this statement, "I promise I'm not going to run away. Last time.... last time there was issues going on that neither of us had any control over. Nothing you or I," Renard emphasized the 'you' in that last part, "could have anticipated could have happened, or even attempted to control." Suddenly oddly tired, as if what little exhertion had occured had caught up with him - as if the feelings eating him up from the inside out were taking over - he half flopped, half pressed against the older man, head against his chest, inhaling his delicious smell once more. Good enough to eat. "You have my word - no more running away."

template: by me!
lyrics: one republic
muse: bad romance - lady gaga
notes: he ate my heart, is that boy a monster?

[ALEXEI FERNAND ADRIANO]

I W A N T YOUR LOVE, I DON'T WANNA BE F R I E N D S.
caught in a B A D R O M A N C E !!

When Renard's hands slid down his arms he couldn't hide the shiver it sent up his spine. The younger butler's slim hands on his waist drove him wild. The touch of another person felt somewhat foreign to him; it had been some time indeed. Sure, he shook hands, hugged, even kissed a hand or cheek. But this was different. This was a deeper touch, one Alexei would venture as far as to consider it romantic. Even had that not been the correct term, he craved it more than anything then. Though he felt unsure, afraid, he wanted Renee to kiss him, touch him. He wasn't sure if he was ready, but it seemed today was meant for testing his limits and boundaries, so what the hell.

Alexei's eyes half crossed to watch the other man's hand come up to sweep a stray crimson lock away. His eyes then focused back onto Renard's, cheeks tinting a light pink when scolded. "I-I'm not worried about her right now! I'm just...preoccupied with whether or not I impress you." He huffed, the pink remaining on his cheeks due to the bold attitude he seemed to have adopted. While true that he wasn't exactly the shy type, Alexei still felt a bit flustered whenever he was forward. It reminded him of when he'd first professed his feelings to his late lover. Though Alejandro had been the aggressor, ever persistent in his affections for this butler, Lex had initially disliked the man. It wasn't until three months later that he'd eventually blurted out his feelings in front of quite a few people from his previous academy. Coming back to the present day, he shook his head slightly, as if trying to rid himself of either his blush or the memories that kept playing in his head.

Claudia, to Alexei, was less of a threat and more of a distraction from Renee. He didn't mind her at all- granted she was a bit strange- it was merely that tending to her meant being free less. Not that he didn't like caring for a Lady, it was what he was here to do after all. The good thing was that she liked time to herself, that and that he was still afraid to get too close to this man. Luckily if he freaked out any time soon, he could use her as an excuse. He wasn't daft, Alexei did have some idea of what had went on with Renard and his mistress. He mostly just picked up vibes from the two, along with a few remarks on Claudia's behalf. However, he was trying to stay out of it. He did have some loyalty to her, but he didn't want his personal feelings to get in the way, so for now he agreed to ignore it entirely.

Renard leaned against him, and his hands went around the other's waist. He couldn't help it, it just felt so good to have someone to hold onto. Alexei sighed, the butler's words having a soothing effect on him. "I can only hope that you speak the truth. My heart cannot handle losing another, be it you or anyone else. But especially you." He buried his face in Renee's hair, his eyes drifting shut. This was nice, being able to be affectionate with this man. Alexei cherished it, and he cherished this man, in some way or another. He knew he had feelings, even before their kiss in that classroom. Maybe even when he'd first locked eyes with him at the stables. He wasn't sure. The only thing he knew was that even if Renard was lying and was considering running away, Alexei wasn't letting go twice.

[RENARD ARISTIDE CHEVALIER]

Renard hugged Alexei to him, gently increasing the pressure for a few smal second before letting him breathe, a little smile perking his lips at the older's stutter. It was so, well, Alexei, to stumble over his words and get all emotional. Renard found himself inexplicably warming to this side of the redhead, and really wanting to see it more often. It was, loathe as he was to admit it out loud in an public place, incredibly cute and the type of thing that, had he been born a girl and spent his early years being forced in a great many repulsive dresses by designers he netiher knew nor cared about, he would likely as not squealed his little feminine heart out and asked Alexei if he could gather his crimson tresses up in little pigtails. And suchlike vomit-worthy ideals. That he sincerely hoped he would never partake in for real.

"Oh, Lexi, you didn't have to," Renard felt his cheeks colour a little at the other's words, sweet as they were. They gave him an oddly warm, fuzzy feeling that he had had described to him many times - though usually about girls as opposed to his own gender - but had never actually experienced it. Well, until now of course. He was sure he had felt the pricklings of it before, whenever he had been around the redhead, though they had been more subconscious, and he had just about ignored them. He could ignore this though - as flaming obvious as it was. He sighed a litte - in content? He was reasonably sure it was more that than anything else. "You.... you do impress me enough as it is - I'm just not all that good at showing emotions." Renard chuckled drily, nestled so safe against the older man.

Indeed, it felt surprisingly safe. He surprised even himself in this. He wasn't one to periodically feel unstable or vulnerable, but he almost got the feeling that leaving Alexei's warm, comfortable hold would somehow result in one or the other of them, and possibly even - worst case scenario - both of them, falling to pieces like a shattered porcelain doll on the floor. He shifted in Alexei's gentle hold, and squeezed the man around the middle reassuringly, like one would squeeze a partner's hand to tell them everything's okay. Renard hoped everything would be okay. Maybe it would - but he wasn't thinking that far ahead for now. This was too nice for now. Renard had to admit that, for once, he really felt like living in the present, not looking forward or back at all. He could feel every time Alexei breathed, the steady rise and fall of his chest methodical - it was rather soothing.

"I do, I promise you," Renard's voice was soft, barely audible as it was - muffled by the older butler's shirt. Too warm. He could feel himself struggling to stay awake. Why? He wasn't even that tired, he reasoned with himself silently. He hadn't exactly exerted himself today - running a few hundred metres to catch up with Alexei wasn't exactly strenuous. Renard inhaled quietly, pausing before continuing," I promise you this is no lie. I'm sorry that I kept running away - I just didn't understand how I felt for you. Or you for me... Heh," there was a muffled chuckle, "I'm not exactly an expert on relationships. I used to steer clear of them so much.... I can't explain it right now, Lexi, but you mean something to me. Something special." It was probably about then when he drifted off, a little too comfortable with his weight against Lexi.

Hopefully he wouldn't mind.

template: by me!
lyrics: one republic
muse: papparazzi - lady gaga
notes: i'm sorry its so short, i lost so much muse Dx and this thread probably needs to end xDD so i think one last post from you and we should be dun <3~